A weekly round up, odd looking sweets, new job new job, gardening and other shenangians

I feel like its important that I explain that the titles of my entry's are completely made up and based on whatever I used as a picture within the post before I even started writing. Also they are often inspired by what I saw or read on Facebook last... the fact that I used the word shenanigans today is because I saw a post about putting the "she" in nannigans.... probably not that funny but it stuck in my head...

Anyhoo general round up much prompted by photo's because I have the memory of a sieve without them.

NEW JOB, NEW JOB, so in case you had not caught on I changed job AGAIN but actually its not so much of a big change but a step back into something familiar, a bit like putting on a pair of slippers, so I'm back to SWing in LD which already after a week feels right. I had one of those why did I leave? this moments (I'm full aware that this will wear off again in about a week) so its all good.

So in order to be the professional being that I am, I prepared my bag in the way of a highly efficient and organised person, and have little packs of things I should always have carried around, this includes a pencil case to rival Rymans, an emergency sewing kit (turned out I was right about that) enough drugs to tranquilize an elephant (I may not have done this job for a while but I remembered the headaches)  first aid kit (yes really) and other essentially essential goods. Actually felt a bit smug about my look at me, can't parent for crap but have highly efficient handbag to cover all acts of gods and possible tsunamis (ask me about my fold away poncho and expanding towel) look. You know new me, new job, first impressions count. I even went to bed early and set like a zillion alarms (which I slept through but its the thought that counts). Of course at this time I was still deaf in one ear, so I did get up in the middle of the night and googled "how to not be deaf for my first day at work" It's amazing the things people on the internet come up with. For once I'll save you the really gory details but I did try most of them excepting the paraffin and a lighter trick (that scared even me) and in the end I settled for the hour long douche blasting ear technique.... hurt like hell and the state of the sink after could have been used on the set of a movie (like attack of the ear wax or some such film) but I could hear. Went back to bed even more smug than before.

So I slept through a few of the alarms but I did get up in relative time, had an argument with the boy child who decided again that he was going to have a shower (what is with this child? - I miss the dirty one that took a wash only on his birthday at least he didn't hog the bathroom - plus why shower every morning if your going to turn your pants inside out and wear your socks for another week?). Actually had the time to make myself a nice cup of tea in my travel mug so that I could drink it on the way to work. In theory this should have been the most perfect first day morning in history... but no not me. I had planned my outfit around wearing my beloved boots which kind of make the outfit, which is why when I loaded up my car and didn't notice that my boots had fallen out of the car (Yes I still can't drive in heels) that as I reversed out of the drive I ran over the damn things... knackered is not a description, those boots have gone to the great shoe graveyard in the sky. Which left me with the bright orange flat shoes that shouldn't be worn in public, no other shoes for this outfit problem. (I resolved this by finding a local supermarket and buying a £4 pair of black flats). So I drove along to work picking up my super yummy prepared in a travel mug cup of tea and starting drinking it thinking how cool and calm and efficient I am and aside from the shoe disaster thinking that things are going considerably well... Now I drink a lot of herbal tea (that's not a euphemism people) so some of them taste a little funky... but this one being my fave in the world (licorice if you are interested) I know how it should taste. It was bit off but I couldn't put my finger on it, I thought it was maybe the just brushed my teeth thing, but half way through drinking it when I'm trying to work out what the familiar taste is that I haven't tasted before but definitely smelt before. Which is when it dawns on me that I blindly took the cup off the side not thinking to like rinse it or anything and that in fact I am drinking bleach (Zoflora to be precise) mixed with herbal tea. Needless to say I stopped drinking and started worrying about the side effects of this kind of poisoning and just how embarrassing it would be to either vomit at work on my first day or drop down dead from bleach abuse. Decided to detour to buy bottle of water to hopefully wash the toxins from my body.

I forget to mention that while I had socially acceptable hair for once (by which I mean it actually stayed in the grip) that I regret that bloody fringe I was so proud of a few weeks ago. Would the damn thing stay flat? no it decided to do the little girl with a little curl thing but all over the place... I tried to tame it with bobby grips and spit (no point pretending otherwise) but that damn thing wasn't having a bar of it (note to self: wear hat next week)

So I arrived at new new job, supposedly in one piece but because it wouldn't be me if I didn't finish off all of the disasters by splitting my leggings wide open (wouldn't have happened if I had the boots) so basically despite all my planning and organizing I arrived at work looking like in fact me.. crazy fringe, big legging split, half delirious from bleach and with cheap shoes, so much for a first impression... but as my mate says at least they won't get a shock when I go in on a REALLY bad day! Anyhow I've been there a week and so far I love it in a getting my head round it kind of way, but I'll report back and let you know.

So in other news....

I did post this already on facebook..

WHO is responsible for this genius sweet branding. I mean I realize I am a completely dirty minded cow, but no matter how many photo's I took they all came out like this, boy child couldn't see what all the fuss was about, but lets just agree that I won't be letting him buy this particular brand of sweet again... I mean REALLY?

Girl child suggested that this should be my new professional pen, but I had to explain that my job is hard enough and most people are frightened of me as it is, so can you imagine me with my reassuring I'm here to help you face and then whipping out a frankly anemic head on a pen? Nope I don't think so, but it did lead to much mirth when we tried to work out what to do with the rest of her body. 

Since it's that time of year:



ITS SO PRETTY! I thought that I ought to do the whole trying to be frugal and friends with nature thing again...

So I made a mini greenhouse (pinterest people pinterest) 

and I decided to start building my red neck (their words not mine) container garden (trust me it's going to be epic) which is not unlike last year going to reveal just how much Pepsi (other brands are available) goes into my Vodka habit. It's all good though and going to be very cool and vegetable (I was going to say fruitful but I'm growing veg people) plus it means when it all goes right that I might achieve one of my 33 things before I'm 34 (see I do remember what this blog is supposedly for). I did dig up the allotment again and stroke my seedlings (they have feelings too) but the weather decided that it was still April so opened up a shed load of rain and wind so my babies are not ready to go out just yet.

Also thanks to google have a whole bunch of amazing gardening ideas that involve a lot of buckets and hanging things of my fence... hubby said no, but mum said we'd just wait until he's out and do it anyway (and you guys wonder where I get my traits from?)

Also made Sunday lunch, by which I mean I stared at the chicken until mum came in the kitchen and started being a mum which meant that I didn't do a whole bunch. Eventually because she got fed up of me hovering in a I'm trying to help but actually want you to dismiss me kind of way she handed me a peeler. This was a mistake and those of you who pay ANY attention to my Facebook feed will know what's coming next. So I saw this great thing on Facebook where a chef basically used a drill and a peeler to make peeling veg / fruit easier and faster... so in the way that I do when I have to try something, I marched into hubby demanded his drill and proceed to drill potatoes... Turns out that the only thing that happens when I try to drill / peel potatoes is that there's a lot of starchy potato juice (and not the vodka kind) all over my tiny kitchen and that all my roast potatoes have a succession of holes in them.... not entirely sure what went wrong but am going to purchase a number of different peelers in the week and try again.  Hubby did the "you are an idiot but I love my drill" face so I gave him his drill back before I could do any further damage. At this point I gave up on even pretending to help and left mum to it. 

Hubby is experiencing some kind of spring mania as I went for a catch up with one of my friends today, and I come back to find out the ironing has been done without my input (meaning a week of crumpled clothes but lets be fair I didn't set the bar that high) and is now "bored" and so has decided to trash (I mean reorganize) the living room.... it looks fifty times worse now but I'm just leaving him to it...