A month in pictures because I used up 50,000 words this month

SHE'S back!!! Okay so I totally neglected this blog for the last  oooh month, I have a ton of excuses and I can't be bothered to type them, in case you missed the 17771 words that I achieved today (yes really procrastinator Tabs is in the house) just take my word for it when I say I have hand cramp (and that's the highly edited polite version). Plus I don't have the energy for a full on month long catch up, unless I can use pictures to convey words.... which I fully intend to do, It's my blog I can make up the rules ok?

Ah but I digress.... as always, 33 things... list achievement - update clearly update's are required first - that I can do even as I resort to using my nose to type...

1) Have pole dancing lessons... Nope haven't had time for this
2) Go to theme park  Nope haven't had time for this
3) Make own clothes  Nope haven't had time for this
4) Learn to love self... Marking this as pending, I love myself a lot more this year than I did last...
5) Go paintballing  Nope haven't had time for this
6) Write book and blog... There are no words required:

read it and weep... it's a fact and no ye of little faith I DID not just write the same word 50,000 times although that was tempting

7) Lose 33 pounds...I lost half a stone... it's an achievement
8) Grow hair  Well I didn't cut it yet....
9) Learn to reverse park Nope, what for you can't park in hospitals, I'm sticking to the abandon veichle approach.. it's wholly acceptable in most hospitals
10) Go on actual holiday - Nope
11) Buy new furniture - Have sofa... not that I've seen a lot of it this month
12) Get butt flush - I'm going to have to find an angle on the being scared to death by my daughter to not have to do this
13) Go back to university Nope
14) Drink 33 drinks - definitely drank more than the agreed 33 - but mainly it's been Vodka
15) Grow 33 fruits and veg Too cold
16) Learn to cook I can make soup
17) Meet Brilliant - FAIL :(
18) Quit smoking... Stoptober (again)    Nope, have to make it quit smoking rather than specifically October since it's practically Christmas
19) Play more games Nope
20) Save ( money not games) Hospital parking kind of wipes out any money you had (sense a theme here yet?)
21) Have sex 33 times  - Just no, although when I don't have hand cramp there is a funny story involving implant removal and mint condoms
22) Win Man vs. food challenge Nope
23) Read 100 books HELLO I just wrote one, therefore I READ nuffink
24) Change job DID IT.. well kind of since I'm working my notice
25) Watch 33 or more epic films as decreed by Leelou & Dann NOPE
26) Own Converse still no - sad face
27) Sort out mum - well she got a job, so that's progress surely
28) Do lots of RAKING NOPE :(
29) Have kitten YAY have kitten
30) Glamp (with Essex accent) NOPE
31) Be Veggie - 33 day minimum Trust me when I say I nailed this... hubby and small people still recovering
32) Be Cultural x 3 (or more) Now I am totally counting watching the BBC proms as one, because thats well cultured even if it was Dr Who related... it COUNTS people!
33) Get 33 different catchphrases ( and record them on video) JUST NO


Well I think we nailed that and thank god since my hands really are protesting... so onward with a photographic journey (not necessarily in order, get a Tardis for those kind of things) of the suckiest and awesomeness of my life...

I may have mentioned this.... but I spent considerably less time than the allocated month writing a novel, it's trash but I still nailed it :)

In a moment of self discovery. I decided that hormones are the root of all evil, or at least my varying skin conditions, I had my implant removed, and I was brave

Girl child before she got sick, demanding that she be taken to Stafford to party like the rest of the bitches, ooops I mean witches

Mum madly obsessed with steam cleaning the hell out of everything...

We got a kitty.... we argued over his name, in my head he is still Adipose King (yes I'm fully aware that its a fat cell in Dr Who but it's cute)

Then Alaska got sick and got the naming rights to call him Salem (I call him Adipose when everyone has gone out)

I had an anniversary. Like a proper 13 year old one, with flowers and everything. I got to enjoy these beauty's for approximately 2 hours

then this happened :( and she stole my socks..

and it just got worse from there...

:(

yet through her pain, she remembered the importance of fashion and good lips, not that there was anyone else in the actual ward to even think about kissing

And she got sicker

and sicker

and less and less amused at her mother photo documenting it all

This was the last one I dared take at this point

Mum stepped into the breach and explained it like spending a night with the exorcist

And then banana milkshake (ALWAYS bring a banana to a party - he knows what he's talking about) saved the day

I learnt origami

And we got our own room...

We discovered new kinds of selfies and the benefit of a good Dad t shirt

And then we got segregated again in a  whole new hospital

But we could eat, wear ridiculously small hats and communicate further than sign language

And then they made her do lessons, in hospital while sick (what is the world coming to?)

And because we have a good scientific understanding. We learnt to draw what was wrong with us, even if we couldn't explain it to other people without sobbing

And then Dad came and made everything shiny

The cat slept the whole month

The boy child remained bandaged

But learnt that a pair of tights has more than one use, come children in need.

Hubby learnt that there are no lines I won't cross in search of nature to be later applied to Doctor Who., he allowed me to get us lost in the forest and found me a walking stick

I painted out my woes in to the upcoming Who Tree (Real thing people)

The cat woke up

Girl child (new pajamas and all) decided that bob needed boy pj's for his return to hospital

And I was amused by faeces when I finally made it back to work

I decided to celebrate the 50th anniversary in a TARDIS off with a friend

and won thanks to the power of photo bombing..

 My Husband regenerated

And I wore every piece of clothing I own to recreate a mixture of all the regenerations...

And there was custard and fish fingers

And decorations

Girl child was half a tardis even if she need a mirror to reflect her writing

And despite mothers bickering they all joined in...

We all took a turn at hanging around in door frames

 And boy child demonstrated his Whovian abilities

We got a little crazy post 50th

And then the Dr regenerated (make of that what you will) in my bedroom of all places

The windows got replaced and it was cold

And then I had another anniversary in which I was spoiled and we spent another day at the hospital

Mum got all crazy with her vagina knitting

(do not ask)

And hubby got all nerdy with his star gazing app

And to end it all, I began to make bunting....

And that was November - The edited version