I woke up this morning, and for someone with NO hair, as in it's very very thin from the years of abuse I have inflicted upon it, I woke up to massive AFRO hair, now I wouldn't mind so much if there had been some rough and tumble in the night, to warrant big I got up to naughty's hair, and in this picture I had brushed it twice (no naughtiness by the way), it refused to be tamed in any way shape or form so I just walked around for the majority of the day looking like cousin IT or a distant relation to Chewbacca.
Mum decided that today was the perfect day to go Christmas shopping, and she had that look on her face that meant that it was and there was no point arguing about it. Plus apparently... we NEEDED a Christmas tree, I agreed because it was easier to keep the peace, but I did state that there was no way I was taking either of the small people with me. Hubby tried to pretend to be a small person but I decided if I was going to have to be tortured by entering endless shops that he was going to suffer the same fate.
So we went shopping, and I somehow forgot that mother is a complete shopaholic, if you can touch it, sniff it, scratch it or put it on, she does, often shes does all of these things. She tried boots on, which as most of you will know then led to the big boot debate. Like do my feet look big in this? YOU HAVE SIZE SEVEN FEET they are huge so therefore YES, hubby gets all uncomfortable about this debate and does that shifting from one foot to another thing like he needs a wee. I did try to explain that its not the same principle as the does my bum look big but gave up when he did his exasperated man face. Furthermore I am beginning to suspect that my mother was either a thief in her past or current life. She has this whole theory about five finger discounts and how it is acceptable so long as you use all five fingers to swipe the items. She get's very passionate about it, alongside the whole joke about if it doesn't have a label then it's free, except that she means it. I haven't gone as far as looking under her bed or in her suitcase but she does have the serious makings of a kleptomaniac.
We went to Primarni, which while I love is a total time sucker, two whole hours we spent in there and that is not including the time lost due to hot flushes, mild panic attacks and arguing over how tall and wide the small people are. I had a strop and said that I didn't care and I was doing everything by size and that if my children refused to conform to the size that they should be based on their age, then that was their problem and not mine. Hubby took a fag break during this particular part of the shopping because he just cannot shop in the same way that my mother does. (To be fair I'm not sure anyone can)
I'd like to say that the shopping trip meant that all of Christmas shopping was complete but that would be a lie, because I got distracted by shiny things and Doctor Who handkerchiefs, mum got distracted by everything and hubby stood and stared at a picture of an Xbox 1 and did his puppy dog face. We did buy a tree in which Hubby got all excited about and quite frankly I wasn't that interested, when it comes to tree's it's like asking me to reverse park... totally not interested. We eventually made it home and I decided that since it's apparently the month of Christmas tomorrow that I ought to at least make the effort and get the Christmas crap out of the garage
And thus Christmas exploded all over my living room. I was going to tidy it all up before mum got home from work, but the effort of thinking about Christmas just wore me out, so I decided that this year I'm going for a modern art piece and calling this explosion the unmade Christmas (not unlike the famous unmade bed) ... also I am open to offers should anyone want to move this into an art gallery and make me rich as sin.
Since we had the damn tree, it kind of made sense that it be put up immediately, so as to prevent the inevitable angst that I get myself into over the whole thing, plus putting it up today would apparently beat a shed load of daemons and make me feel proud (my therapist is in for a fantastic week this week!) It didn't but I did allocate the job to the small people, hubby who clearly has sensory issues of his own, decided to buy another set of Christmas lights, despite the fact that he does this every year and now I have enough lights to strangle him with, for the record if I do decided to do this I shall claim to the police that this was his fetish and that he wanted to go out twinkling.
And drum role we have a tree, I have already placed bets that the kitten will have it over by the morning. Now most people assume that I am a total Christmas hating Grinch, this is in fact not true, I love Christmas in that it means being together and spending time with my family, and I love the whole cutesy decorations and the feeling like being a part of something, but I do have a self imposed issues with Christmas Trees, and they genuinely upset me. I can't help it and I have valid reasons, I have worked on this over a number of years but I can't just get up, grow up or deal with it, but this is progress and the earliest the tree has gone up. Now I just have to work towards the next battle of not taking it down on Christmas day when the small people go to bed.
I have in an adult and mature way instead decided to expose myself to tree's via flooding. A friend tried this recently on me, and nearly succeeded aside from my damn stubbornness. Sleeping with a Christmas Tree will do that to a girl. (Get your mind out of the gutter people I am not a Objektophilie) Therefore I am making a WHO tree, which basically involved taking a twig, spraying it blue and covering it in Doctor Who related paraphernalia. I have yet to find out but maybe this will help with my "issues"
Once again I realize I have broken the universal law of turning an angel into an image, but trust me these have been in my house for the best part of two weeks and none of them have snuck up to send me back in time yet, of course if that does happen I won't be able to tell you but Hey Ho. Trust me when I say the tree (per se) is a work in progress but I will naturally be showing it off to it's full glory should I ever actual you know like finish it.
Girl Child had her final scans on Thursday, was quite amusing watching Hubby walking around the hospital in his pajamas, so as not to get magnetized to the MRI machine. Was also amusing watching girl child's disappointment when she realized she wasn't going to stick to things as a result. Nothing doing in that department at the moment though, just got to sit and wait it out, and find out whether Christmas is happening at home or the children's hospital. I am an instant gratification kind of girl so believe me when I say all this waiting is driving me insane.
Rest of the day has been pretty much uneventful, the house is a complete tip and I have assured everyone that I am going to tidy up tomorrow but we all know this is not true. I am now going to drink a shed load of Vodka and post excessive pictures on Facebook before sleeping past 5pm tomorrow :)
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