Now I am beginning to become mildly concerned that certain
people clearly know me too well...
and still insist on throwing me out of planes and make digs about my
driving....anyhoo I have three sleeps left to get these lists organised and
compiled to generate what I'm actually going to do... I'm actually getting the
feeling that in true Tabs style that I may also create a 33 things NOT to do
before 34 which would be far more achievable and fit in with my
procrastinating ideals...
1) To learn to parallel park (why in god’s name do I need to do
this... if I ever find myself in a situation where this is the only option I
shall in true style as I have always done, either park 5 miles away from said
destination or abandon car and throw keys at nearest person I know to
do it for me... this method has never failed me yet)
2) Learn to do a hill start (or just not park on hills...)
3) learn to reverse park on a car park with cars in it (I can reverse park
in car parks... only when I get to work 2 hours earlier than everyone else to
do it... so far my insurance record is clean... why? because I'm not stupid enough
to reverse park in a car park full of cars)
4) Go camping in a tent (I could so do this with my eyes
closed, standing on one foot in excellent heels while brandishing
insect repellent and screaming for help)
5) Cook using a camping stove (on the basis that I've never
subjected this individual to my cooking I am not going to take this as a direct
insult unlike the small people, mother and husband but I am going to ask why I
would need to this... just-eat exists for a reason and delivers
ANYWHERE)
6) Go out on the town with your best friend ;) (Okay but you’re
not allowed to be the drunk one first... or to down triple vodkas)
7) Plan and go on a cheap but cheerful family holiday - including plane
flight (there will be NO flying.... holiday yes)
8) Go for a whole month without lining up your glasses or tins
forward facing in the cupboard (only if you do... bet you break
first)
9) Start saving for a mortgage (It's on all of the lists)
10) Grow your hair for the next year with only maintenance trims allowed. (But I already grew
from long to crop too long to bob too long to crop to... OH I see your point)
11) To stop pushing the destruct button and except you don't have to
have something bad happen to you just because something good happens. (These are supposed
to be achievable people)
12) Find new highs - a day at Alton towers etc. on roller coasters
scaring the life out of you, but making you feel alive. (Yes because having
to take spare underwear with me is always good for a giggle)
13) Reduce the alcohol intake - one night only with a maximum of
10 pub size (not tabs size) shots. (I already have DT's just thinking
about this)
14) Allow yourself one treat per month (non-alcoholic) - night out,
manicure, pedicure etc. (only one?)
15) To have a date night - at least once a fortnight with Dann -
where you go for a meal, cinema, bowling etc., and both make an effort to dress
up. (But date night is a bottle of vodka, matching onesies and gaming...)
16) To teach your cubs to sew a button on a pair of trousers or shirt -
share your knowledge (I like this but I may need to revise my sewing a
button on skills... this is my mother’s domain)
17) To alternate the shoes you wear so that you wear each pair several
times throughout the year (or I could just buy new ones?)
18) To cut down on Facebook use - only one status update per day
for a whole month... I know you can't do that, it's almost as difficult as
giving up the drinking! (This falls in the reverse psychology telling
me I can't so that I will.... and on this one I willing accept defeat because I
don't want to... I am a social media addict and it keeps me from losing my
sanity)
19) Continue to maintain your garden and growing your veg. (Home grown is
cool)
19) Once a month go out as a family for a walk or cycle ride. (on the basis that
my sense of balance is questionable at the best of times I thinking the walking
is the only achievable factor... add to that the hours of small people moaning
about the cold, the exercise how uncool I am, blah blah I'll just
take myself for the walk) P.S two 19's is this so I can delete one?
20) Cut down on the use of your computer outside of work hours. (Doable... spesh
since my stitching bug is back in force)
21) Do a bungee jump or parachute jump for charity. (Why why why do you
people keep wanting to chuck me out of things)
22) go to college to study a course (for fun), painting, pottery,
clothes design etc. (I am an education addict, I'm going to define learning as fun even
the academic stuff and I want to do this...)
23) learn to swim (I don't mind teaching you) (I can now swim...
just badly and I have to take a break every 5m because I don't enjoy activity
when I have to flail about just to keep from drowning with the end
result that I look like a drowned rat)
24) Spend a weekend in London and go to see a musical - with me :) (I'm picking the
musical)
25) Write a plan of what you want to be doing and to happen in 3
years, 5 and 10. Put them in and envelope and open them a year later to see if
the goals are achievable or if your plans have changed. (Well I think we
all know how fickle I am..... but I like the thought that I may not be LOL)
26) Learn to speak another language (the only
benefit to this is so that I can insult and abuse
people randomly without getting fired)
27) eat bacon and oatcakes for breakfast every Saturday or Sunday (I AM SOUTHERN...
we do not defile our bodies with these dirty oatcakes that Stokey's and
Staffordians bang on about.... you can't even get me with the bacon... they are
foul horrible things and should only be used as assault weapons on
other people!)
28) Learn to love yourself (Well it'll only have taken 33 years
if I manage this)
29) Buy a new Christmas tree and let the kids choose (Since the last one
died a death in a "small" temper tantrum I think this has to
happen... apparently I'm not allowed to NOT have a tree even if this would mean
a happier Christmas all round)
30) decorate said tree and house together with the kids (mmm hmmm.... I
double dare you on this one and you’re not allowed to rearrange the tree when
the kids are done)
31) Write the 2 books I know u have inside u... One SW and the other...
To exorcise those daemons (I'm feeling because I have too many
people awaiting for this book that I really am going to have to knuckle down
and do it... although half the book will probably be
the dedication sections)
32) watch the whole series of 'game on', for light retro entertainment (good classic TV
viewing.... of course if I watch this I'm going to have to watch coupling all
over again too)
33) Make time for whoopee with Dann (how much did he pay you?)
So there you have it once again my fellow readers.... I am destined for
a year of falling out of planes, not mussing with my hair, writing a book and
apparently being a better driver....
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