Finally a list....

Guess I put it off and procrastinated enough... (I changed age not personality. so here is the final list (if you know me well you will know this is subject to my own terms and conditions and mood swings)

1) Have pole dancing lessons... (I recently went out drunk as a skunk launched myself at a pole and nearly knocked myself dead.. therefore I need to retrain in this department, also not only amazingly sexy  funny as hell but also of benefit to my dieting plans)
2) Go to theme park (probably should clarify that this does not mean merely check in at Alton Towers / Drayton Manor / Thorpe Park on facebook but go to theme park and scare living bejusus out of self on crazy mad rides... also subject small people to the same treatment and have a ride off with them)
3) Make own clothes (or to be more specific make at least one wearable hand crafted outfit... I had to say this because otherwise clothes shopping is out for a whole year and I don't think I could do it)
4) Learn to love self... (now I was trying to make my 33 things measurable but this a tough one... how will I know? My social work training says blah blah blah outcomes and S.M.A.R.T objectives ((if I have to explain this then go use GOOGLE)) so I'm going to quote my well written friend and go for "do not dull your shine for anyone else. You are magnificent and you should not ever hide who you are to suit someone else"... we will work out the measurable part (((maybe a facebook vote in a year)))) later.....)
5) Go paintballing (one of the main things I got from the various list submitted to me was that I need to spend more time with my family as a whole.. that and the acceptance that my family is all nuts and active and that's why I'm the only fat one left... plus paint balling is going to work for me since we already know its going to be epic to blog about... and I am never more happy than having to something to moan about and this particular sport comes with bruises guaranteed)
6) Write book and blog... (I used to punish myself by not writing, and now I may not be as good as I used to be but I do remember how much I love it....on a side note Stephanie Meyer always wrote about what she was listening to while writing... ((you don't have to like twilight any more or less than 50 shades she still earned a shit load of money through her books)) today was brought to you by the teenage dirt-bag album...)
7) Lose 33 pounds... (not in money that would be dead easy but in weight... I am faddy and a dieter in extreme.... ask me about the cabbage diet, the jaffa cake diet, the honey and lemon, the slimming world and weight watchers to name a few... but I am much bigger than I have been in a while... around 13st and I'd like to be in the under 11 club... just so I don't have to throw out my entire wardrobe)
8) Grow hair (no real explanation needed only that I commit to a year of not radically cutting my hair... I will to keep this one achievable probably maintain with a trim and a colour... I am currently ginger and that definitely needs fixing.. but growth is the key word here..... which means if I have more crap than usual I'm going to have to find a new coping mechanism rather than chopping the hell out of my hair)
9) Learn to reverse park (I can do this..its the main reason I'm first to work in the morning... but I am going to learn to do this in a car park full.... measurable and achievable all you non-believers)
10) Go on actual holiday (this doesn't have to include flying... the last holiday we took as a family was 2000 and something... like pre 2005...)
11) Buy new furniture (Ideally a sofa... and a fridge... to be defined within my 33rd years)
12) Get butt flush (thanks girl child... I don't think I need to explain this but I will accept that this could be highly amusing blog material)
13) Go back to university (or more broadly because some things you have to expand on... go back to education, learn something new.. because that's who I am.. the eternal student the lover of words and phrases and knowledge...)
14) Drink 33 drinks (you can chat about sobriety and octsober and kidneys and liver as much as you like... I do my job and drinking is a part of my current coping strategy's... but I have got stuck in a rut of Vodka, Vodka and well you know.. therefore 33 (alchomofrolic) drinks whilst 33)
15) Grow 33 fruits and veg (I didn't know I liked nature or growing stuff prior to my recent move, turns out I do, mainly because being a gardener turns out to be an aggressive sport.. as exampled by a bad day at work with a shit boss and hacking down a tree... doable achievable... measurable..)
16) Learn to cook (bit ambiguous this one, and I still need some time to totally define this... but maybe cook 33 things my kids will eat?)
17) Meet Brilliant (non negotiable no discussion required except I think I promised her that I'd give her a screaming orgasm last night...)
18) Quit smoking... Stoptober (again)    (much to the displeasure of my old work colleagues I managed this once so I can "totes" do this again.... and this time I can do it right... we'll settle for a goal of 33 straight days starting on the 1st of October and ride it out from there...)
19) Play more games (not the mind games that I suck at... but rather xbox... now this is measurable since my gamer tag wifeofonyx will record this for me)
20) Save ( money not games) (dann said I had to clairfy this since 19 is about game playing...really should be of an age where if my fridge blows up or roof caves in or run out of Vodka have actual "spare cash" in da bank)
21) Have sex 33 times (during my smoke break in writing this I did have to clarify with hubby whether this meant with him or in general.... turns out ((according to him)) that this means with him and any liaisons with the Dr don't count (((not a fixed point in time apparently)))... woo)
22) Win Man vs. food challenge (to be determined)
23) Read 100 books (I was trying to be grown up and pick the classics... not going to happen seeing as my two books of choice include the yet to be released raising steam and revenge of the prada...)
24) Change job (this is  a must I can't declare in real words how bored I am right now)
25) Watch 33 or more epic films as decreed by Leelou & Dann ( foolishly I was expecting great intellectual insight and debate... turns out they both have crap taste in films but if I acheive 33 of their combined ridiculousness it still counts)
26) Own Converse (real ones defined by my previous Dr Tennant theory... bland (beige) for uneventful events, black for I might do something stupid and Red for breaking every time lord law known to man and time lord)
27) Sort out mum (to be officially determined in next hideously drunken debate with said mother... no pink DM's required in this particular discussion)
28) Do lots of RAKING (because making others feel good makes me feel good because I am a narcissist and its all about me)
29) Have kitten (Tardis... yes really...)
30) Glamp (with Essex accent) ( I have few rules in life ((or morals)) but I do have a few... I don't queue, I don't use public transport and I don't wait... I also don't use tents... so glamping is probably a good compromise)
31) Be Veggie - 33 day minimum (I already accept that Bacon is going to be the breaker on this deal)
32) Be Cultural x 3 (or more) (still living the vagueness of this.... but ideally you know ballet, festivals and musicals...)
33) Get 33 different catchphrases ( and record them on video) (cos that's all folks)