I'm not going to edit or disrupt this list because I love it's purity and emotion it stirred in me....
(I love u for you and thank you for knowing me this well (c) sal bates 2013
33 things for Tabithina to do at 33
1. Be kind to yourself. As women we feel the pressure of “having it all” husband, children, career, not to mention housework, friendships and looking totally fabulous all the while. This is NOT possible. It is ok to have a PJ day. You are not a bad parent if you don’t do everything perfectly for your children. Your husband is a big boy, he can look after himself. You are not perfect, and this is ok.
2. Spend time alone. This is vital. You need to have time when you do not feel all those pressures mentioned above. Be indulgent, eat nice chocolate, have a bubble bath, put on your foxiest shoes and prance about. This is time to focus on yourself and to do happy things.
3. Teach your children stuff. You are not their friend, you are their mum. It is your responsibility to cultivate them into human beings that can deal with the world. Teach boy child to iron, teach girl child to change a plug. They need to know that when they are fully cooked, they have all the tools they need to run a home.
4. Write. As a writer, I can recognise good writing when I see it. You have a voice and style that is both complex yet readable. Use it.
5. Have checkups. You only have one body you need to make sure that she is in working order. Yes, this means the dreadful smear test (they should at least warm up those bloody duck lips!) and feeling your own boobies. (As a lady in a relationship, you also have the option of allowing your Husband to feel your girls, however, be warned that this may lead to “advances”).
6. Be thankful. You are a lucky lady. You have a family that love you, friends that adore you and a means to earn your own money. Don’t take any of these for granted.
7. Have tolerance of those who are stupid. As a smart woman, it is easy to forget that some people are just plain stupid. They open their mouths before they think, feel sorry for them, don’t rise to their bait and remember to not become one of them.
8. Stitch more. You know how relaxing and therapeutic it can be. Make time for stitching.
9. Try new things. Food, music, books experiences, don’t be confined by your past choices, you owe it to yourself to explore the world out there.
10. Learn stuff. It doesn’t matter if it is a fact of the day or studying a subject, there is loads out there that you don’t know.
11. Explore the outdoors. Make time to sit by a river, walk through a park, and enjoy the fruits of Mother Nature’s labour.
12. Cherish your husband. He’s the only one you have and one day he won’t be there, love him. A lot.
13. Watch the news. Although most of it is bad, it is important that you know what is going on in the world. There is no point being smart if you are ignorant of the world around you.
14. Write a will. If the only thing you do is decide who would look after the children if you and Husband died, then this is worth it. Facing your mortality isn’t nice, but at least you can decide who gets what (like off loading the ugly sculpture Great Aunt Tessie bought you onto someone you don’t like)
15. Cry. It is good for you to get the crap out. Watch a sad film and enjoy it.
16. Make friends. You are fabulous, everyone should have you as a friend.
17. Talk. Don’t forget the friends you have already. We love you and want to spend time with you.
18. Take photos. Make memories and share them with your friends.
19. Play games. Computer games, board games or card games, it is a good way to bring you all together as a family.
20. Say no when you don’t want to do things. It’s a simple thing but we often say we’ll do things out of pressure rather than want. If you don’t want to do something, don’t.
21. Remember if it doesn’t make sense, it’s not true, but make sure you get your facts straight before you make a decision.
22. Remember that you can usually tell that a teenager is lying by their lips moving.
23. Remember that your character is created by what you do and your reputation is created by what others think you do.
24. Try to note judge people. It is not easy, we all make snap judgements, but at least try.
25. Collect something. This is so that your friends and family know what to buy you for Christmas/birthdays.
26. Exercise. This can be walking, cycling, sex, anything as long as you do something that gets your heart pumping.
27. Eat well. You’re not expected to turn into Jamie Oliver but it is important that you eat things that are good for you. For every bad day you have, make sure you have three good ones.
28. Do not dull your shine for anyone else. You are magnificent and you should not ever hide who you are to suit someone else.
29. Be happy. You cannot change the past, but you can decide if you allow it to affect your life.
30. Give your marriage every single chance to work. If you are tempted to end it, work harder to make it work. You are lucky you have found a partner.
31. Plant things. See if you can make them grow. You have raised two wonderful children, you can grow a vegetable.
32. Believe in yourself. You have the potential to be anything. You are a good person and deserve everything life can give you.
33. Remember to live your life, to not just exist as it takes you along. Enjoy every single second you have on this planet, you’re lucky to be here, 33 years and 9 months ago, you were just the fastest sperm...
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