32 and counting....

I have realised that my 33rd birthday is fast approaching and as such I have probably lived at least half my life (I can say this as I drink smoke and cross the road without looking).... I suck at New Years resolutions and keeping a blog running for longer than a month... I also recognise that when I don't have a list or goals I get bored and this is not a good thing (those that know me know this too well) so in the spirit of being (ah ha ha ha) older and therefore wiser I feel the need for a new goal (or challenge if you will) and so to steal a bucket list I feel that there should be 33 things to achieve before 34.... And since I have a few weeks to edit such a list... Here is today's current list in no order (will also have to recount tomorrow as have drank more vodka than is humanly possible and cannot count at the best of times)

33 things

1.Swim in chocolate (Doable if I can convince Mr Cadbury who is now Mr Kraft to lend me a VAT of chocolate not as in the tax man)

2.Become grifter (Doable, learn conning skills, join a gang, practice wallet lifting, buy wigs)

3.Write book (why is this still in my list when we all know I'm not going to do it?)

4.Stop smoking (again) (I've done this so many times we know its a doer... maybe should think about staying quit this time?)

5.Get new career (again?)

6.Own own house (requires lottery win)

7.Go back to school (may have to do this in secret)

8.Meet a Doctor preferably Tenant (do already possess excellent stalking / psychotic skills definitely achievable)

9.Own converse (this is not negotiable)

10.Have 33 more pairs of shoes (that's less than 1 a week I can do this with my eyes closed)

11.Clear debts (hmmmmm)

12.Lose weight (bring on the quark, dodgy cooking, temper tantrums and scale baiting)

13.Have a bath (by which I am not indicating I do not wash I just live in a house without one)

14. Read 100 books in a year (and not just the trashy stuff) (we all know if I achieve this its going to be trash)

15.Learn to budget (please can I have a bigger budget)

16.Accept what I cannot change (yeah alright)

17.Watch a horror movie all the way through without flinching  (Does watching a movie where I already know where the scary bits are count?)

18.Go in BB house and not be major cock (oh come on everything about me is set to be the best BB contestant ever)

19.Write more (kinda goes with the writing the book and keeping a blog running longer than a month)

20.Go on holiday (Well that's not that difficult...)

21.Conquer fears (or at least one)  (but not via flooding cannot think of anything worse than being forced to sit in a blood bank, giving blood or drinking blood)

22. Move home (Kent) (must try harder)

23. Meet Brilliant (again non negotiable) 

24. Have 10 year pink anniversary (must come up with fabulous pink event)

25. Grow more veg (and remember to pick it / not just grow turnips which everybody hates)

26. Learn new craft (think I may screw the budget plan with this one)

27. Get catchphrase (you say catchphrase... say what you see Mr Chips... I say mantra)

28. Expand vocabulary (real words not girl child's language of totes and amaze-balls)

29. Learn to reverse and Parallel  park (its got to happen some time?)

30. Buy real champagne x  2 drink 1 and spray second all over the place like rich person ( its the natural terriory / behaviour of a grifter... see 2.)

31. Bake more - like great British bake off style (doable....)

32. Have pink hair (again) (I have more hair now I can rock it)

33. Get kitten - call it Dr or Tardis (plus I can sing soft kitty legitimately) 

34. Go to first ever music concert / gig / festival (well I'm not getting any younger)

35. Be more grown up? ( well there will be a whole 365 days to try right?)

Current drunken count seems 35 but I can edit... Anyhoo intention is to blog about it or a year (well let's be realistic a month) and achieve everything before 34....

P.S - the fact that I can't count bothered me and so I felt the need to come back and recount, now I realised I have 35 buckets... I felt the need to comment on the realism of these...